Mother's Day

My most dreaded holiday of all is soon approaching... Where can I go? Where can I hide? If I could rid a holiday forever, It would be this one!! For me its a holiday that  reminds me of the failure I've been as a mother.

My children, for the most part will pin point all the wrong I've done as a parent. Maybe one or two, may come up with some positive things. But for the most part, all I've heard has been negative things. I didn't always feel this way. When they were all little, they all made me feel special, loved and cherished. We didn't have much money, yet they all got together and handmade me a Mother's Day card. How loved and special I felt then. All that is gone today. Who invented such a dreadful holiday? I don't need a day to remind me. My kids do a great job of it. All I can say is, I gave all I had to parenting.I'll continue to try and  achieve some balance, as life has an amazing way to through you off coarse. In my humble opinion, did I make mistakes? "Yes". Did I have some positive moment? "Yes". Had I had better tools myself, I might have done a better job. However. I'm still alive and for the most part healthy. Trying to be better then I was. But I guess as the cliche goes, "Too little too late" How sad for me..... So, if its all the same to my children, I'd rather go away and ignore this awful holiday. I must also say that my mother has past away. So this holiday should also pass away. God Bless all the great Moms! My hearts is with my mom.. I wish more then anything to be able to call her and share my day with her. Looking back, she made mistakes. She even made me feel like I was born the wrong sex. Didn't feel loved by her and yet, as I grew older I knew she did in her way. She gave me all she had. Its all one can ask for. I miss my mom...... I miss her so much I cry..... I do have her remains. I think I will hug her......Heavenly Father bring my heart peace. This holiday is unbearable.. A happy mother's day will be, when I can truly feel the love of all children. Gifts don't constitute as a replacement for daily acts of love and kindness.